rickandmortyfandomcom-20200223-history
Look Who's Purging Now/Transcript
This article is a transcript of the Season 2 ''Rick and Morty'' episode ''Look Who's Purging Now''. The episode aired on September 27, 2015. Transcript *I got to tell you, Rick. It’s pretty great to be in this spaceship, just the two of us, you know? *Just cruising around, Rick and Morty style. *I agree, Morty. [ Belches ] *It’s nice to get back to the basics after a pretty intense, mixed-bag of a year. *Ohh! *Relax. *That’s what windshields are for. *I didn’t know that there were bugs out in space. *Well, w-what did you think, Morty? *Life just developed on earth by itself? *Here, let me take care of this. *Geez, Rick, that’s disgusting. *I don’t want to look at that. *Yeah, guess I’m out of fluid. *L-let me find a place to stop. *Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet, or are you gonna freak out and start worshipping us? *The general store ought to have what you need. Thanks. *Of course, you’ll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown. *Yeah, sure thing. Wait a minute. What? Why? *Sundown is when the festival begins. *The festival? *Ooh, well, for millennia, our society has been free of crime and war, living in perfect peace. *Oh, I know what this is! *You’ve been able to sustain world peace because you have one night a year where you all run around robbing and murdering each other without consequence. *That’s right. *What?! *It’s like "the purge," Morty. That movie "the purge"? *Oh, have you been here before? *No, no, but I’ve been to a few planets with the same gimmick. *You know, sometimes it’s called the cleansing or the red time. *There was this one world that called it just murder night. *I-it’s a purge planet. *They’re peaceful, and then, you know, they just purge. *T-that’s horrible! *Yeah. *You want to check it out? *♪ *[ Electricity crackling ] *So, what do you do during the festival? *You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff? *Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff. *Oh, I bet you do, old timer. [ Laughs ] *Gee... Rick, come on. The sun is setting. *W-we got to get out of here. *All right, well, w-what do I owe you for the wiper fluid? *It’s on the house. Oh, and, uh, why... why don’t you have some candy bars, as well? *Oh, no way. That’s really nice of you. *I’m a nice guy... For now. *[ Chuckling ] Ohh, I don’t doubt it. *Rick! *Yeah, yeah. *Hey, have a good festival, old timer. *I intend to. *Rick, unlock it! *Just a second, Morty. *Oh, look at that sunset. *Stop screwing around. *[ Click ] *There we go. Much better. Now we can see. *Great. *Hey, you know what, Morty? *Why don’t we christen our squeaky-clean windshield here by watching a little of this purge through it? *What?! No! What is your problem?! *Morty, grow up. If you don’t want to watch, don’t watch, but, you know, it’s my car. *[ Belches ] Also, if you tell your mom about this, I’ll purge you. *You’re the worst. *And this planet is the worst. How can you be into this? *You know, people are gonna kill each other. *So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that belches I-if... if there’s a video online with someone getting decapitated, you don’t click on it? *No! *Why... why would I do that? *You do that? *I don’t, because it would bore me. *I see shit like that for breakfast, Morty. *But if you don’t do it, I say it’s because you’re afraid of your own primal instincts. *So you stuff them down and... *[ Bell chiming ] *Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It’s starting. *Oh-ho-ho! Here we go. *I’m not watching. *Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medal’s in the mail. *I’m gonna get a closer look. *Oh, okay, sure. *And then someone’s gonna throw a rock and hit the car and then we’re gonna crash and we’re gonna be stuck down there and it’s gonna be what we deserve. *Yawn. *Whoa! [ Indistinct shouting ] *Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other. *[ Muffled screaming ] *Oh, my God! *Oh, shit. *That was... okay, yeah. T-that was gross. *Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach on this one, Morty. Ugh. *My appetite for purge-spectating got filled pretty quick. *Oh, God. [ Grunts ] *[ Retching ] *[ Woman screaming ] *Get away from me! *No! No! Help! *Somebody help me! Aah! *All right, Morty. L-let’s get out of here. *Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. W-we have to go down there. *[ Belching ] What? Why? *That poor girl. W-we have to save her. *Uh, Morty, in space, we have something we call the non-interference policy. We got the wiper fluid. *We watched them kill each other. We’re leaving. *Help me save that girl, or I’m telling mom you brought me here. *You little turd. [ Screaming ] *Please! Leave me alone! *Leave you alone? During a purge? *I don’t think so, baby. *It’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you. *My name is Morty. This is my grandpa. *We’re tourists. *Not anymore. *Aah! *Aah! *Oh, my God. This is fucking awesome! *Morty, this is really cool. *Hey, y-you want to help me out here and kill some people? *It’s fun. We’re totally justified because we’re saving a little girl. *I mean, w-w-we’re both free and clear to murder these people. *Are you okay? *Yes. *I have to find somewhere to hide. *Well, you can hide with us. Rick? *Yeah? *Do you think we could take... w-what’s your name? *Arthrisha. *Could we take arthrisha up in the ship and, you know, just wait out the purge? *Oh, Morty, how can I refuse after all you’ve done to blackmail me? *Your vehicle... is it from the gods? *No. *Yes. *So, uh, you know, when the purge started, did people get into it right away, or were they like, "wait, what?" *This is gonna stop crime how, exactly?" *Yeah, it took some time for people to accept it. *Yeah, I bet. [ Chuckles ] I bet. *Yeah, it’s kind of like cellphones, you know? *At first, everyone was like, "look at those douchebags purging," and then the next thing you know, they’re like, "it’s just so convenient." *Geez, you working on your tight five for the comedy store, Morty? *Whatcha doing? *Watching some TV, playing on your phone? *Is that a real question? *Just making conversation. *Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? *My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark "yes" like a trained animal. *It’s not a conversation. *You’re holding me verbally hostage. *Okay, ass-face. I’ll go in the kitchen. *Hey, dad. *Yeah? *Whatcha doing? *Going into the kitchen? *Okay. *Yeah, you like that? *Screw you. *So, uh, do most people wear masks when they purge? *I-I don’t want to answer any more purge questions. *All right, hey, hey, that’s cool. *I can roll with that. *[ Blowing raspberries ] *[ Gasps ] My Nana! *Huh? *My Nana! We have to save her! *You just now remembered your Nana exists. *I-I was traumatized. *Haven’t you been through like 15 purges? *I mean, some as a child? *Will somebody just help me get her? *Fine, whatever. Morty, stay. *Oh, God. Oh, crap. Oh, crap! *Get out! Get out! *Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! *Get the fuck out of the flying machine! *Oh, my God! O-okay! Okay! *Back up, asshole. *[ Whimpers ] *Back up. *Ohh. *Back the fuck up! *Aah! *For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, but that’s not really worth anything tonight, is it? *Y-you can’t leave us here. You’re killing us! *You hear me? Come back. *Y-you got to come back. Change your mind. *Oh, geez. *Morty! Aah! Fucking Amish bitch shot me! *[ Grunts ] She tried to purge me, Morty. *You let your wiener do the walking, and now I’m dead. *Rick, she took the car! *You fucking kidding me, Morty?! *She took my car and the gun. *We’re like the rest of these assholes now. *W-w-we’re gonna get purged, Morty. *Help me up. *Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick. *Why don’t we just use your portal gun? *It’s in the car, dip-ass. *[ Grunts ] Oh, God, it hurts. *She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty. *It’s the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, Morty, and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it. *I was just trying to do right. *Yeah, well, that’s not really the theme of tonight’s party. *Heads up. Rapists. *Well, don’t just stand there, Morty. *Purge ‘em. *Me? *No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them? *Pick up a stick or something and kill them. *Um, w-we come in peace. *[ Screaming ] *Oh, my God. [ Grunts ] *There’s more where that came from! *You want to get purged, you bring it! *Drop Belches drop your shit! Drop it all. *Morty, go get their shit. Hurry up. *I only had one of those things I threw. *I’m holding a box of tic tacs right now. *Want some crackers? *No, thank you. *Are you ready to be nice to me? *In exchange for crackers? *What happened to you? *Dad, get a job. *You’re trying to create drama because you’re bored. *Oh. [ Beeping, whirring ] *It’s the space phone grandpa gave us. *Hello? *Hey, Summer, it’s grandpa. *I need you to do me a favor. *I can barely hear you. *Who is it? *Morty and I are on a planet that’s purging. *I need you to take down... *A plan that’s what? *We’re on a planet that’s purging, Summer. Purging. *We lost our car and my gun, and we’re in a purge. *Ooh, is it Taddy Mason? *Like the movie "the purge"? *Yes, I-I need you to take... that movie sucked. *Oh, my God. Hold on. *It’s not Taddy Mason? *Dad, who the fuck is Taddy Mason? *My friend. *Aah! *Are you okay? I’m putting you on speaker. *Taddy? *Yes, Jerry, it’s Taddy, a person no one’s ever heard of until now, calling you on a space phone. *I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic. *[ Growls ] *Aah! *[ Growling ] *[ Gunshots ] *Reload, fast. *Summer, w-we need you to take down this number. *Quit screwing around. *Morty? Are you all right? *No! *Why are you with Taddy Mason? *Holy shit, Dad! Shut the fuck up! *Okay. I guess I’m just this entire family’s toilet paper. *Are you writing this down? Will you please write this down? *Summer: Yes, yes. *7-7-1-9-8... *[ Growling ] *3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5. *Aah! *[ Growling ] *You son of a bitch! *Morty, I don’t want to be the "a little help" guy, but a little help? *Aah! *Okay, I have a pen. Go. *7-7-1-9-8-3- 6-4-2-1-1-2-5. *A spoon, Morty? *A spoon?! *I’m sorry. *There’s a pile of silverware next to you, and you throw me the one thing that can never kill anything? *All right, okay! *Summer, on the shelf above my workbench in the garage, there’s a red box with a keypad on it. *You’re gonna take that box outside, and you’re gonna type the number I just gave you into the keypad. *Got it? *Got it. *Is it just part of growing up to hate your dad? *I’m ignoring you. *Morty, if I can get to the top of that lighthouse, I can send the beacon, and your sister can launch our package. *Just remember, if there’s people in there and they try to purge us, we got to purge them first. *We’re not purging anyone, Rick, all right? W-will you stop it? *Morty, if we’re gonna survive tonight, you’re gonna need to harness your repressed rage. *I don’t have any! *Spoken like a person with repressed rage. *[ Doorbell rings ] *I take no part in the festival. *If you desire to kill me, I only ask you do it quickly. *No such agenda, chief. *We’re not too keen on the purge, either, sir. *We were just hoping to get on the roof of your lighthouse so we can send a beacon to my sister on earth. *It’s a different planet. *By the way, life on other planets exists. Don’t let it distract you. *I’ll let you use my lighthouse for shelter and beacon-sending on the condition that you listen to my tale. *Okay. *Deal. *All right, I’m gonna go to the roof and set things up. *Morty, you listen to his tale. *Okay. *[ Clears throat ] *"Fade in. Exterior. Unnamed city. Day." *The hustle and bustle is a symphony of progress. *We pan past windows, each of which contain a different story, to find jacey lakims, 28... hot, but doesn’t know it. *Jacey stops when her high heel gets caught in the grating of a sewer. *Suddenly, a man steps into frame and points a gun at her. *This is not her day. *Fade to black. *"Title... ‘three weeks earlier.’" *[ sighs ] You really don’t want to talk to me about this. *Dad, grandpa and Morty are in danger. *You’re unemployed, and you’re bored. *They’re a higher priority. *Stop saying I’m unemployed! *Okay, 7-7-1-9-8-3-6-4-2-1-1 *2... aah! *Good lord! Now what? *[ Whirring, humming ] * * *Look, I’m your father, and I love you is all I’m saying. *I’ll leave it at that. *Fine, dad! *[ Both scream ] *Oh, he might have said to take it outside. *Rick: Come on, Summer. *How hard is it to type some numbers into a box? *Target locked. [ Device beeps ] *Oh, thank God. *Well, I did my job. Summer did her job. *Now all Morty has to do is finish listening to that tale. *"Blane: Maybe I don’t need a new friend." *Jacey: Maybe you’re the only friend I need. *Blane: Need, or want? *Jacey: I’ve never been much for wanting. *"Blane: Spoken like someone with needs." *Oh, geez. *Hmm? *Uh, sorry. K-keep going. *"Jacey reaches out and touches his face." *It’s clear he needs what she wants. *She’s a woman. He’s a man. *The city burns in the background as he takes her in his arms. *Fade out. *Title... ‘the end’... *"Question mark." *Wow. *Yeah? *It’s... G-good job. Good job. *You liked it? *Of course I did. *You didn’t laugh at the scene in the bar. *I...Thought it was funny, but I wanted to hear the rest. *Do you have any thoughts? Notes? *No. I-I just enjoyed it. *That’s my note, you know? Please write more. *Seems a little insincere. *What? No. *You don’t have to mollycoddle me. *I want to improve my writing. Tell me your real thoughts. *All right. Well, um, I’m not a huge fan, personally, of the whole "three weeks earlier" teaser thing. *I feel like, you know, we should start our stories where they begin not start them where they get interest... get out. *Um, what? *No, I’m sick of this. You bang on my door, you beg me to help you, I share something personal with you, and you take a giant shit on it. *Hey, man, we asked if we could put up a beacon... well, you can’t. I want you out of here. *You’re a petty person, and you’re insecure, and you’re taking it out on me. That’s a good script. *What the hell?! *I don’t care. I want you out. *What? *Take that thing down. *Your grandson is a shitty person. Leave now. *Morty! *Rick, I didn’t do anything. *I sat through his entire screenplay... you "sat through it"? *Yes! Did you want me to weep with joy? *It’s terrible! *Whoa! Morty! We’re guests here. *I tried to be a good guest! He dragged it out of me! *I’m taking down this beacon. *No, stop! That’s not fair! *Just because you hate your own writing doesn’t make me a bad person! *Aah! *You like that? You want me to cut to three weeks earlier when you were alive? *Whoa, Morty. You just purged. *Beacon arriving. [ Device beeps ] *Okay, time to go. *Well, terrific. *[ Sighs ] *Dad, what’s going on? What’s the deal here? *I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter. *You’re growing up so fast. *You used to be my little girl. *[ Chuckles ] Yeah. *Remember when we used to go to the playground, and I’d push you on the swings? *Oh, you could push me higher than all the other kids. *You were so small and cute. *I thought you were gonna fly right off into the street. *[ Chuckling ] I used to pee my pants. *I know, and now look at you! *You have a job. You’re making really good money. *You’re not paying any rent, so you have plenty of disposable income. *Oh, God, dad. Please, don’t. *I just need a few hundred dollars to get through the month. I have some interviews coming up. *Something’s gonna come through. I can feel it. *I’m going inside. *[ Door shuts ] *[ Sighs ] I guess this is what rock bottom feels like, Jerry. *Ow! *It’s okay, Morty. It’s the purge, you know? *Pushing old lighthouse keepers down the stairs is totally cool. *It’s not cool, Rick. I-I’m not like these people. *I can’t run around chopping people’s heads off one day a year and then sleep well the rest of the time. *Well, you better start getting used to it, little bitch, because we got some fucking company. *Hey, there he is. *Here I am. *[ Beacon whirring ] *Morty. *Time to Belches purge. *[ Gunfire, screaming ] *[ Tony! Toni! Toné!’S "feels good" plays ] *[ Screaming ] ♪ it feels good ♪ *♪ yeah ♪ *♪ it feels good ♪ ♪ holdin’ you so ♪ ♪ it feels good geez. ♪ *Wow, Morty. Now you’re getting into it. *Never expected that out of you. *All right, uh, let’s go find my ship. *Hey, hey, Morty, Morty. There it is down there... my ship. *It looks to me like the... Morty? [ Gunfire ] *Suck my dick ♪ it feels good eat this! ♪ *Ooh, boy, you’re really, uh... *Ha-ha! Ha! ♪ It feels good you’re really going for it over there, huh? *I, uh Belches I think, uh Belches *I think those people were just hiding. *I don’t give a shit! *[ Gunfire ] *Okay, Morty, now you’re just shooting corpses. *How do you like this? *Okay, buddy. *All right. That’s good. Good job. *[ Screams ] *Time to go home. *[ Weapon charging ] *Wait, stop! Please, don’t kill me! *I-I never intended to harm you, I swear. *I am trying to end the festival. *W-w-what do you mean? *I was going to use your ship to destroy the rich assholes that run our society and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival. *Fuck that, Rick! We got to kill her! Kill her! Kill her! *Whoa! Geez, Morty, purge it down a little. *"Purge! Don’t purge!" *You’re sending me mixed messages, Rick. *Morty Belches you’re acting like a Belches freaking lunatic. *Calm down. *Screw you, Rick! *I’ll purge you, too, you old, rickety piece of crap! *This has been a long time coming! *I’m gonna rip your fucking guts out and smear them all over your face! *I ain’t taking no sh... aah! *Okay, s-sorry about that. *Now, where are these rich people? *[ String quartet playing ] *[ Glass clinking ] *To another successful year of the festival, pitting poor people against each other for thousands of years. *[ Tony! Toni! Toné!’S "feels good" plays ] *Wait, w-where is that music coming from? *What is the meaning of this? *♪ It feels good here’s the deal. ♪ *I’m not here to judge. *I’m just a guy from another planet. *But this girl is one of your poor people, and I guess you guys felt like it was okay to subject her to inhuman conditions because there was no chance of it ever hurting you. *It’s sort of the socio-political equivalent of, say, a suit of power armor around you. *But now things are evened out, so, arthrisha? *[ All gasp ] *Happy festival, cocksuckers! *Suck my cock! Chew my balls! *Suck my huge dick! *Geez. ♪ It feels good ♪ *You want to get in on this, Rick? *No, I really... honestly, I-I’ve had my fill. *It’s gratuitous at this point. *You sure you don’t want to join in? *This is really amazing. *♪ It feels good yeah, but... ah, all right. Fuck it. ♪ *♪ It feels good yeah, bitch, what’s up? ♪ *♪ It feels good ♪ ♪ it feels good ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ it feels good whoa! ♪ ♪ Ohh, it feels good ♪ *Okay, now it’s time we do a little dancing to... to Tony! Toni! Toné! *♪ It feels good, yeah look at my fucking feet, motherfucker! ♪ *Whoo! Aw, yeah! *♪ It feels good ♪ *Arthrisha, what do you got? *Check this move out. *♪ Oh, it feels good ♪ *[ belches ] Oh, ho! *I don’t know what song that is, but I fucking love it! *"Feels Good". *It’s a fucking hit song. *♪ It feels good ♪ topped the charts, I think. *Ho, ho! *♪ Oh, it feels good ♪ *[ rooster crows ] *Hey, thanks for helping me, Rick. *You’re a pretty great guy. *Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you for shooting my liver. *I’ll see you around. *Oh, man. What... what happened? *Don’t worry about it, Morty. *Listen, if you wanted to try to get a piece, you better hurry up. Now’s your last chance. *Hey, hey, arthrisha, um, maybe I could... uh, I have a boyfriend. *Okay. *I’m not trying to be rude. *I just... I don’t want to lead you on. *I-I-I understand. *I mean, thank you so much for helping end the festival, but I have a boyfriend, and, uh, he’s just... okay, okay, you can stop saying it. *I took it okay the first time, and now you’re just repeating stuff. *Oh, I’m sorry. *It’s okay. *Oh, you’re so sweet, I just... oh, but I can’t. *Yeah, you’re still doing it. *It won’t be easy creating a new society from the ground up. *Well, a helpful rule might be if you need something, you get it. *Pretty simple, right? *I need food. *Who’s got food for that guy? *I do, but this is for me. *Can’t you make some more? *Oh, sure. And while I’m making food for everyone, who takes care of my kids? *I’ll take care of your kids, if I get some extra food for it. *Extra food? *Well, I’m not gonna do extra work if we all get the same. *All right, okay, fair is fair. *If you do extra work, you get extra food. *Oh. [ All murmuring ] *Who’s gonna keep track of who gets how much food for how much work? *Hello. I can do that. *I’ll keep track of everyone’s food, you know, in exchange for food. *That’s not a real job! *Oh, and making food is? *You son of a bitch! *Eat this! *[ All screaming ] *Guys, guys, guys, guys, whoa, whoa. *Cool it, now. Take it easy. *There’s too much aggression here. *What if we designate a period of time during which we can all get this hate, murder, and rage out of our system... *I can’t help but feel ashamed about what I did back there, Rick. *I guess you were right. I’ve got a lot of repressed stuff. *I need to deal with. *Don’t worry about it, Morty. *Remember those candy bars earlier that we got in the first act? *Yeah, what about them? *Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol that amplifies all your violent tendencies. *Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh? *That’s a relief. *Yep. Don’t even sweat. *You’re still the same old Morty. *Your character’s totally protected. *♪ It feels good ♪ *Man: And there’s the approach. *Jerry, what is "Taddi Mason LLC," and why is our phone bill $700? *Uh... Hey, are you bored... *Uh... ...Lonely, just looking for a friend? *Uh... Call me, taddi Mason. *It’s only $1.99 a minute to talk. *Uh... Sign up today, and I’ll even call you on a regular basis... *Uh... For just $1.99 a minute. *That’s a steal because I’m a great pal. *Uh... We could talk about sports or barbecue. *[ Grunts ] *Jerry, get a job. Site navigation Category:Season 2 transcripts